HOW TO GET BARBADOS
From the east coast of the United States, it takes about four to five hours via plane. Within the US you can fly with Jetblue, Spirit or American Airlines. If you fly from South Florida (Miami and Ft Lauderdale), you can get a flight for under 200 dollars. You can probably get a similar rate from New York City due to the amount of Caribbeans living there. I wouldn’t suggest getting a flight with Spirit Airlines, they are unprofessional in my experience and that of others that I have spoken to.
The food is organic and void of preservatives. I don’t like to circulate cliche terms or buzz terms but the concept does exist, it’s just that you may not experience it in the Western hemisphere (particularly North America) since everyone is on the wave and will pass it off to you as a scam. Even if you eat junk food there, it’s made up of real food and your body will process this more efficiently. Due to this, you will be able to go longer with less. I was able to just eat once a day and just top up with snacks and rum. I attribute that to the real organic food. The food that they boast of is coucou and flying fish. Coucou is made up of cornmeal and okra. Okra is good for zinc and for firing loads for you guys that like to paint..lizards. Bajans also love macaroni pie and although I always imagined this to be a Sunday meal, you seemed to be able to get it every day in Barbados. Barbados has some nice seafood and I had some marlin with rice and peas one night at a friend’s place. It tasted nice. The marlin had the same consistency as steak. I also ate from a favourite fast food place of Bajans called Chefette in which I had the BBQ chicken with some macaroni pie.
Barbados has Mount Gay rum and cockspur rum. I drank Mount Gay and found it very smooth, I spent one entire evening from about 5pm to 11pm on the beach sipping steadily from a bottle of Mount Gay using the cap, talking with a friend, looking at the Bajans swim in the ocean and hollaring at any lizard fortunate to come into my radius. Normally rum has me sleepy but my energy levels were optimal as I sipped the Mount Gay from the bottle neat.
Bajans called local transport ‘Transpeed’. You can take a taxi, a local bus or rent a car depending on your comfort level. There are three types of local buses, a blue one, a yellow one and a white one. The yellow and the white ones are smaller and run more frequently. In those ones, you hand the fare (2 Bajan doto a conductor on the bus. The blue ones are government licensed and a bit nicer with more space. The fare is the same but you don’t hand to the conductor or driver, you push it into a fare collection box. .costs 2 Bajan dollars which equals 1 USD. Naturally that it being public transport, you will have to jam up next to a member of the public “Oh gaw boi don’t bruck my foot” exclaimed an older woman as I hemmed up beside her on a yellow bus going downtown. That, however, is part of the experience.
If you decide to rent, you can get a car rental from a company situated right in the airport as you land which is very convenient. Prices are very reasonable by North American standards. Renting a car for 6 days cost about 446 bajan dollars which is 223 US dollars. That works out to about 37 dollars a day which isn’t bad. It took 42 dollars to fill the tank up. You get an economy sized car for that so if you are an oversized person with an oversized squad you may want to look into other options. Remember that Bajans are not large people (the biggest on average there were actually the lizards), so the vehicles accomodate the general size of the population.
In terms of ease of navigation, bear in mind this is an island and doesn’t have the luxury of so much flat lands as compared to some US states.You will have to endure driving around bends, curves and dealing with many roundabouts which is reminiscent of the UK. Yield signs say ‘Give way’ and I don’t believe you can turn left on a Red (remember you are driving on the left side of the road. Don’t worry too much about getting lost. It’s a small island and GPS works very well there due to the reliable wireless network infrastructure set up there. Waze and/or Google Maps can be your friend along with the friendly Bajans who are happy to give directions.
The wireless network is decent but if you decide to use roaming from a country outside of the West Indies, I felt that it was 3g but many claim it’s 4g. It’s decent enough for GPS functionality (Google Maps or Waze) and other stuff.. The fact that you are so far from your local tower as per your own country (I assume you are from North America or even further), this will tax your phone more than normal and you will run out of power even more quickly.
Bajans give very detailed directions and this might be the case with all West Indians and indeed Africans and Latin Americans as well. Maybe that is an attribute to a good memory but a simple go to the top of the road and make a left is turned into a scenic description with lots of landmarks used as markers to ensure one is still en route for their desired destination. I often had ask a few more people along the route how to get to a particular place.
Barbados is very hot in the summer. I was there roughly around the end of May which is hot in most decent places around the world as we are coming into summer during that time. Obviously the tropics will be even hotter and every day I dripped with sweat. The average temperature was 35 degrees celsius which is about 100 degrees Fahrenheit, give or take a few degrees. Luckily I was heavily utilising the baking soda remedy for the pits along with patchouli and certain people complimented me on my fragrance as patchouli is supposed to match your pheromones and emit a complimentary aroma.
One bajan guy in a store that I went to in order to buy a gift as requested for the folk outside of BIM said that my patchouli fragrance was supposed to drive off evil spirits. I think he was just trying to sweeten me up so that I would buy his souvenirs at his trumped up prices. Covefe that!
LIZARDS AND MY APPROACHES
Let’s deal with the important part of this review – the lizards! Initially, I had the lizards rated quite low based on what I saw at the airport. Those at the airport gathered to travel had a solid average at 5 with no pronounced buttocks or faces to bump the ratings up. As I landed at Grantley Adams airport, the average was not bumped up at all. The lizards were well put together but there was nothing to activate that wild lust.
The first lizard I saw that made my phallus dance was the one who cleaned my apartment where I was staying. She was a dark skinned delight with fake eyelashes, medium length locks, the customary tattoo on her left lat (a Bajan ting) and fully formed buttocks. Lizards can read when a man is hungry and some may choose to tease or take it to that finite level. I contemplated asking her if there was an event she could suggest but thinking about how much fish there was on the island and my time constraints, I decided to wait it out. Bim has hope!
On Brandon beach, I met some friends and we sipped rum and spoke about our experiences on the island. I saw a light skinned lizard with braided hair walk by. I hollared at her and asked if she was ‘Barbajan’. She chuckled and asked what that was. It was an opportunity to start a conversation.
I spoke to her for a bit and she stood by and allowed me to speak with her. Her buttocks were fully formed and I wanted to ram her from the back like an obstinate driver trying to fit in a parking space too small for his vehicle. Those cheeks fit well into those leggings. She eventually excused herself as she had to attend the exercise class being conducted on the beach. The exercise class was an all lizard event. There were maybe one or two other lizards that looked choice in attendance, a near clone to the one that I spoke to with. The clone had the same skin tone but larger fuller buttocks and wider hips. She never came close enough however for me to holla at her.
At Warrens, I saw a lizard in a skimpy outfit as I made my way home after my meal at Chefettes. She was heading towards First Caribbean bank to use the ATM.
I used my customary opener “Whu you saying?” but she completely ignored it without even offering a grunt in response. I understand that when a lizard (or anyone for that matter) is going to withdraw money, they are on their guard as it could be a ploy. So I didn’t push it and I let it be.
I hit St Lawrence Gap with a local and we met two uni lizards. One was Bajan and the other was from another of the small islands. I opened them with my British accent but they didn’t really bite. I stuck around for a bit but got bored quickly. They were responsive to my questions and gave decent polite answers but I perceived no additional interest there even if allowing for cultural differences.
I met another lizard on St Lawrence Gap. I drew a bit of a crowd with some very tuneless karaoke (I gives zero fs!). She was from British Guyana (I asked her) and was there with her ‘brother’, an easy going guy with frizzy hair. I flirted lightly with her and met her again later on that night in ‘The Old Damn Inn’. Pulling her to my person in sync with the soca blaring over the speakers, I bent her over and began daggering her as per the Bajan custom. She bent over and placed her hands on the floor for support as I thrusted energetically into her from the back. She pulled away eventually and I let her go with a sneer on my face.
To be honest, I didn’t push strongly for closes on that trip. I even allowed a bird in the hand to flutter into the bush due to my prioritising my time in hanging out with my friends. I took everything in stride and didn’t want anyone to take me out of vibe. BIM has a lot of promise and although it took a few days for me to see juicy prospects, now that I know where they lie, I will be back shortly to lie with them!