If I were to tally up my results in terms of the black lizard lays that I’ve had, it’s strongly in the Jamaican favour. I remember going on a date with one to the cinema. She was athletic (Jamaican women enjoy a disproportionate dominance in the sprinting space), about 5’9, with a distinct Jamaican accent.  From when we met at the top of the escalator, she started hitting me, punching me in the arm and saying that I’m not that big, that it seems to be fat (I am not fat). Now bear in mind that I never boasted that I was big, muscular or proposed any physical attribute as part of my package. Even as we decided upon the film we would watch, she continued to strike me. Many lizards like to do this to assess the density of the man’s muscle. Many people wear clothes or prop up their bodies in ways that would signal that they look a certain way but when you touch them, the flesh gives way to something far less promising. White lizards may touch a man gently in order to make this ‘assessment’ and black lizards will be more forthright, especially if they sense that you have a calm easy going demeanour such as myself and resort to harder density checks, hence the hitting.

I warned her playfully that if she persisted that I would also conduct my checks on her hips and thigh areas. She said it didn’t work like that. We got popcorn, decided on the film we would watch and entered the showing room. She continued to poke, punch and critique me so I felt her up in the gloom of the theatre. Although she objected, she didn’t do that much to stop me caressing her body in the corner. The theatre patrons left us to our own devices.

Cut a long story short, I penetrated her just over a week later on my futon.

I met another Jamaican lizard during the winter months. The winter months are my strongest season. I have hit up to four new lizards in the space of two weeks (three black, one white). I made a brave play to get her over to my place and said that we could move onto a ‘bar’ from there. When she came over to my place, it was obvious that she liked what she saw. At times when one approaches a lizard in a night setting, the gloom of the room and the winning nature of alcohol has its ways of warping looks.  However, in the sobering light of my apartment, we looked good to each other.

Pretty face black woman
She could get it and so she did.

She had doe-like eyes and full pouting lips and her complexion was a deep chocolate. I had a stupid childish grin on my face as I’m unable to strike a happy medium. I either have an indifferent, almost disinterested look on my face or I have ‘a deer in the headlights look’ with a cheesy grin. She noticed this and smiled. I moved in and was cuddling her from the jump, letting my hands roam to more comfortable areas.

“What are you trying to do?” she asked, with a smile. I reached down and began to free the beast as I also unzipped her tight jeans. She did like to play rough dancehall music (Vybz Kartel, Popcaan etc) while being sexed, which was new to me.

Cut forward again, I met a petite thing coming up to the Halloween week. When I met her at the bar we had agreed upon, she was already quite tipsy and had been knocking it down for over an hour prior to our acquaintance. Again, she had a distinct accent. She wore a dress that was fairly short revealing some nice legs. Her bosom was full, her cleavage adequately exposed and inviting. Not wishing to look a gift horse in the mouth, I tried to touch her legs on calculated occasions. She was clearly onto my play and stymied my attempts. I felt that she was doing what was supposed to be done and so I persisted in punctuations of 20 mins.

Cut a long story short, she was open to my going back to her place. She went to her room to get comfortable and came back out in some skimpy clothing. Booty shorts and a short t-shirt. We cuddled on her couch as we watched some senseless film and obviously, it wouldn’t be fair to myself nor her to keep my hands to myself. Soon my hands were in her shorts to which I met zero resistance and an hour later, I was in her bedroom daggering her viciously while she bent over her queen’s bed.

Jamaican Man backshotting woman
Jamaican black lizards come in many different shades









What one can take from this is that black women can tend to express their interest in black men in a different way. Many men can perceive these as insults but it’s really what the pickup community knows as shit testing. It’s the female equivalent to negging. Once one recognises the cues, they can move in and exploit the situation. Obviously the key is not to take it seriously, the lizard has no other way of signalling her sexual interest. I recall working at a Nike shoe factory for a short stint and a black female supervisor  there continuously made derisive remarks about the speed that I was putting the shoes in the box. I was only there for a day literally and although I wasn’t going to show up and slack off, this wasn’t something that was going to be a career for me. This was really the  supervisor lizard’s way of letting me know that she wanted mo’ Moma.

Obviously, not all black lizards are the same and certain black cultures deal with men in a far more subtle fashion. When I speak of black cultures, I am speaking of the different Afro Caribbean dominant islands and African countries as those are the black cultures that I have had extensive experience with. I can not speak much for Afro Hispanic and other. Black American lizards tend to be more on the aggressive side but in my experience, they seem to cool off with me possibly because my accent confuses and fascinates them.

On the counter, white lizards don’t come across quite as aggressive in signalling their interest. I work with a young snowflake (literally only just cracked 20 years of age) who seems to stare at me at times and I wonder if she has ever been down the dark alley or has some fantasies to do so. I have never been the type to sully my workplace with romantic affairs though and I have not entertained those options.

White woman daydreaming
Thinking about that dark Momalade

To conclude, if one is well versed in noticing the cues of when a  black lizard is interested through her negging, is unfazed by it AND able to capitalise on it and her signals of interest, then exploiting snow for mutual benefits should be as we say in the UK, a piece of piss.